Christmas 2008

Well, I had a great time for the most part this year. I got to see all of my kids and grandkids so that was very nice.

We went to Mary's parent's house in the afternoon for a couple hours. Normally we would stay for dinner but there was no dinner to stay for this year. Noah and Cherry came back to our house and we deep fried some Cornish game hens and they turned out really well. Later on I drove them home to West Seattle.

It is a shame that the big family Christmas get-togethers have all but been destroyed by Mary's sister, Barb. She has held a grudge against Mary and I for years now, ever since she was a no-show at the family Christmas at our house, which I would say was one of the best we have had in the 7 years I have known Mary. I don't understand people that are so shallow that they would bring that kind of baggage to a family affair. Mary took a picture of her sister, which she didn't know Mary was taking it, and it is the saddest picture you could imagine. How anyone that has as much as she does could be sad walking around with a frown on Chistmas is astonishing.

I didn't call anyone on Christmas this year, as in my immediate family. I wanted to see if I would get any calls from them. My phone didn't ring once. It was to be expected I suppose.

I hate to admit it and I don't know if I can, but I really should just let it go and live my life as though most of my family has passed away. I could just tell people that, yeah, my brothers both died years ago. They would say, oh, I am sorry to hear that. Then I would reply, oh, don't be sad, we weren't close.

For years my family treated me as though I were somehow dysfunctional because my life was not as perfect as theirs. I had to work at life, when they had everything fall neatly into their laps. I suppose life is pretty good when your parents are actively helping you get to the next levels of it. They never walked a mile in my shoes, yet, they judged me harshly. I love my family to death, and if any member of my family called me and said that they need my help for something because it was an emergency, I would drop everything and be there as quickly as I could. Somehow I doubt it would be the same for my brothers. That is the black cloud that follows me all the days of my life and will be there until they pass, and then it will be gone, because there will be a legitimate reason we don't see each other.

I don't quite understand how two men who held themselves out to be these great husbands and fathers can be such failures as brothers. I have lived life more than they will ever know. I am a great dad. I teach my children values, like family first, something my family didn't care about.

Next year it will be different as we are going to have the children come to our house for Christmas. It should be quite nice as there will be a lot of little ones running around and actual true joy and happiness, which is what Christmas is all about.